Page 1 of 8

Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:03 pm
by poi
Book 1, Skirmishes on the outskirts
Chapter 1, Cry havoc and let slip the rats of war

Goblins to the left of them, goblins to the right of them, down into the valley of death strode the 96.

Divided in two by a fast flowing river, the left flank of the skaven horde advanced on the goblin lines. Two gobllin regiments fell to the clanrats, whilst the rat ogres dealt swiftly with the rock lobber. Giant rats? Well, they run away quite quickly, unfortunately.
On the right flank, slaves and plague monks faced down the wolf riders. Unable to hold out, the slaves fled, killing a wolf rider and 2 monks in the process, but the wolf riders couldn't reposition themselves before the left flank fell. Seeing their comrades flee, they followed them from the field, leaving the day belonging to the Horned Rat.


Chapter 2, The Empire Struck Down
Clan Poi approached the Imperial watchtower. The plague monks couldn't keep their tempers in check, and charged headlong, driving the defenders from their post, unmindful of the manling greatswords approach from the right flank. The plague monks couldn't hold their new won territory, and fled the field.

A flash of fire on the left, and the rat ogres vanished in a huge ball of flame.

The clanrats followed the plague monks, hoping to draw the knights interest, but the cowardly cavalry stayed well out of reach whilst leaving the clanrats to the tender mercies of a cannon and a wizard. The cannon fell to the ratman advance, but by then their numbers had dwindled til only a tiny fragment remained, unable to pursue their desires to claim the human tower.

Chapter 3, For the Lady?
Clan Poi had a hectic time, seeing off a Bretonnian army in fairly short order. So few of them turned up, the clanrats outnumbered them, regardless of what other forces Warlord Poi had cajoled into fighting.
Neglecting to pray, the frogs charged headlong into the Skaven line, then squeeked, turned and ran in the face of vastly outnumbering forces.

Chapter 4, Purple Rat Eaters, perhaps?
But then came the Purple umie eaters. Clanrats and giant rats closed in to catch the night goblins in a pincer, only to be caught by a savage orce arrer boy regiment. Let rats do what frogs did earlier.

Chapter 5, Best forgotten
When Warlord Poi awoke after the dreadful happenings, it was only to recall fleeing the field, squirting the musk of fear, as the greenskins of Waaagh Badgutz rolled up his flank.

Chapter 6, The Warriors from the North
The Warlord's forces arrayed themselves against the filthy manlings from the frozen wastes.
The two sides approached each other most warily, neither wanting to be the first to leap into the fray without appropriate forethought.
The enemy sorcerer, unable to control the Winds of Magic, blew him/herself (Who can tell with those sex-obsessed deviants) back to the Realms of Chaos, taking compatriots with her.
At this sign of favour from the Verminlord, the heroic Warlord whipped his forces forward into battle, his superiority in numbers soon beginning to tell as the few fell before the many.
The battle was soon over, with only the skaven remaining upon the field of glory, the Slaanesh worshipping tin-men melting away like the snows of their homeland.

Chapter 7, Returning the dead to their graves
Holding the field, but unable to place any forces in a border watchtower controlling it, Warlord Poi prepared to face yet another feebly arrayed scouting force. With weight of numbers heavily in their favour, the Plague Monks advanced on the watchtower, quickly securing it for the Council of Thirteen. Seeing it strongly supported on both flanks, the dry bones didn't dare assault the donjon. Try as they might, the Vampire Countess's forces could not challenge skaven supremacy.
Joining his troops at the peak of the tower, Warlord Poi revelled in his triumph, sucking marrow from the leg bones of those few skeletons still moist enough to savour.

Now 4 victories from 7 skirmishes, Warlord Poi is seeking reinforcements from the Council. Who knows what they may send him to reward his victories?

Book 2, The Horned Rat giveth, the Horned Rat taketh away
Chapter 8, Dust to dust
Hemmed in by the canyon walls. Warlord Poi struggled to deploy his forces without blocking his own line of advance.

As the Bronze Host rose from the dust of the valley floor, he almost gagged from the musk of fear his battle line squirted. Undead!

Whipping them forwards, the battalion advanced, more fearful of Poi than the undead horde.

On the right, chariots charged into the clanrats to little effect. On the left, rat ogres assailed a building filled to the brim with skeleton archers, pounding the defenders into the dust from whence they came.

The ratling gun opened up on cavalry already weakened by the Warlock's Crack Call. As the daisy cutter whirred, their bones shattered.

Giant rats and plague monks advanced on the enemy remnant. Like ice, they melted before them.

Truly, the Horned Rat was with Clan Poi.

Chapters 9 and 10. The Dark Elves cometh, the Dark Elves goeth
Warlord Poi wasn't expecting such a tiny Dark Elf force to dare challenge him. Khaine himself sided with the skaven, forcing the dark elves to charge across the field onto the ratmen's waiting blades in their first encounter.

Gathering their forces, the two armies soon found each other once more across the crowded landscape. Unable to withstand the horde, the Dark Elves managed to take a few more ratmen to Morr at their second meeting.

Chapter 11. Who's that gut lord marching?
Unable to reach the tower before the ogres arrived on the field, Warlord Poi still managed to gain it before the wannabe bullies.

The ogres cameth, the ogres departeth, on the end of skaven swords!

Too terrified to even attempt an assault on the tower, they cowered before us, fleeing as soon as we so much as shouted BOO! at them.

Chapter 12. Rivers of Blood
I see you pinkskin, across the water.
Thousands of you.
Thousands of my ratkin.

What's that I see in the pit, and to its right? Pox, artillery! Traitorous manlings, how dare you?
BOOM! Skaven fall. BOOM! Skaven fall.

Too much for us. Too few make it across the water to make an impact.

Book 3
Chapter 13. Zombies sir, fousands of em

With the enemy close to equalling his own, Grey Seer Poi (newly elevated from Warlord. The Horned Rat works in mysterious ways) watched from afar (and the safety of half his army) as the bonebags assembled across the river.

His ridiculously stupid Rat Ogres couldn't contain themselves. They plunged headlong into an enormous unit of ghouls, soon falling foul to their poisonous touch.

The slaves' Pawleader drew the Grave Guard into the open and let fly with volley after volley of slingshot. His actions, guided of course by his cunning leader, distracted them from the core of the fray for long enough to allow Poi to seal the fate of the remaining undead.

Chapter 14: Oh bugger!
Grey Seer Poi surveyed the aftermath of his defeat by the greenskins. Never before had he been so betrayed by his clanrats. And Rat Ogres. All those warpstone tokens, wasted on cowardly, useless lumps. Clan Moulder will pay for this!

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:34 pm
by Chilledenuff
poi wrote:And I've got til 10 August to paint them all.

chortle... you chose a horde army, you can only blame yourself!

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:38 pm
by poi
I'm going to stick with base coat and inks for this one I think. I wonder how much brown I will get through. :mrgreen:

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:55 pm
by Chilledenuff
You need a brown undercoat.... To Halfords!

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:12 pm
by Dave R
You could have at least all coordinated your titles...

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:19 pm
by Chilledenuff
Dave R wrote:You could have at least all coordinated your titles...

Don't blame me! I posted first, I can't be held accountable for other people's actions :snooty: ... to be fair my sleep pattern is whacked by baby at mo, so i can't be held responsible for mine either :)

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:20 pm
by poi
Dave R wrote:You could have at least all coordinated your titles...

You are quite right.

We could have.

But we did not.

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:21 pm
by poi
Chilledenuff wrote:You need a brown undercoat.... To Halfords!

Good idea.

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:32 am
by poi
Warlord, additional hand weapon
Chieftain, Battle Standard
20 Clanrats, spears, shields, command, Ratling Gun
20 Skavenslaves, shields, command
29 Giant Rats, 2 Packmasters
2 Rat Ogres, Packmaster
20 Plague Monks, command

96 models. 96, by 10 August. I must be mad!

Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:55 am
by poi
I still haven't quiote made my mind up about spears, but I'm going with shields, for sure. They are all glued on now. Only weapons to go, which should happen tonight.

Then it's spray time. Halford's red primer, a browny red, which they will receive Wednesday at the earliest. And with Anthea's sister visiting this week, I'm loosing painting time. hand over fist.